Gif: Nintendo (Kotaku)

As Kotaku’s resident arachnophobe, I discover Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ dealing with of tarantulas, vis-a-vis forcing me to deal with a tarantula, fully unacceptable.

I don’t do properly with spiders. Individuals inform me that I’m a really giant individual and spiders are very small, however that simply means extra of them can match on my physique without delay. Since I turned paralyzed from the chest down in 2018, my concern has gotten worse. There could possibly be spiders throughout my legs proper now and I wouldn’t understand it.

Animal Crossing: New Horizons, the cool new game everyone is playing because the alternative is thinking about what’s going on outside, has spiders in it. Big, hairy spiders. Unlike many other in-game creepy crawlies, the tarantula is not timid. It will not run if you get close. It rears up on its hind legs, assuming an aggressive stance, and begins to hunt the greatest game of all: you.

Here are the choices I have if I encounter a tarantula in New Horizons. I can try to run, emphasis on the “try”. These bastards are consummate hunters. They pursue. They flank. Ought to they catch me, and they’re going to, I get up at my home with no recollection of how I received there or what number of spider eggs are ultimately going to hatch inside me. The hell, Animal Crossing?

The opposite choice is to drag out my trusty internet and entice the furry little homicide bug. That will be nice, however as a substitute of leaping up and down on the web till all is quiet besides the ferocious beating of my terrified coronary heart, my avatar, who might or might not be The Iron Sheikh, reaches into the online and pulls the spider out along with his naked arms.

Illustration for article titled How Dare You, iAnimal Crossing: New Horizons/i

Screenshot: Nintendo (Kotaku)

You go to hell, Animal Crossing.

Animal Crossing Does Every part