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“If I get corona, I get corona”: Meet the spring-breaking teens who will destroy us all

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Books, tv, and movie have had a variety of pandemic and/or zombie outbreak depictions over time—some eerily accurate, others not so much. However even taking all these into consideration, we will’t actually consider any that correctly account for the sheer variety of dumbasses round us at any given second. You all the time see folks with the worst attainable weapons to fend off a horde of walkers, however by no means the man in an outsized tank high carrying a beer-chug helmet slurring away about how the zombie outbreak can’t be that massive a deal as a result of he and his posse nonetheless haven’t seen one.

It’s with all this in thoughts that we share the following dispatch from Global News, which serves to remind us how egocentric, myopic doofuses will virtually actually be the dying of us all. Sure, it’s time to meet the souls orchestrating our species’ demise as a result of they refuse to let a pandemic spoil their spring break. Our sincerest apologies upfront.

Look, it’s most likely only a coincidence that one can hear Sean Kingston crooning “You’ve got me suicidal” from Miami restaurant audio system on the outset of the video, however godrattling this showcasing of egocentric, hormone-driven privilege makes a great case for self-quarantining for so long as the specialists advise.

“No matter occurs, occurs…sadly, it does suck,” says one teen. One other solemnly provides, “It’s actually messing with my spring break.” Quickly, we’re listening to a child named Bryson slurring, “We’re simply tryin’ tuhh…we’re simply tryin’ to dwell fuhhr tha second.”

And if that wasn’t sufficient to make you need to rinse your eyes along with your remaining stockpile of Purell, permit this intrepid reporter, Daniel Uhlfelder, to additional make the case for hitting the reboot button on this complete “human civilization” factor.

COPYRIGHT_BP: Published on https://bingepost.com/if-i-get-corona-i-get-corona-meet-the-spring-breaking-teens-who-will-destroy-us-all/66905/ by Hilda Workman on 2020-03-19T15:07:51.000Z

“As of proper now, I’m on spring break. I simply don’t actually care, I’m sorry,” brays one nameless beachgoer. And, look, we’re gonna get out in entrance of all of the inevitable “children are the worst” feedback to remind everybody that it’s not just like the wizened among us are acting any better.

Ship Nice Job, Web tricks to gji@theonion.com

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About The Authors

Hilda Workman

Hilda Workman - Hilda Workman is a licensed financial advisor with years of expertise in the industry. She has assisted a range of clients, from sole proprietors to large corporations, in reaching their financial objectives. She is informed about many different financial subjects, including tax preparation, investment planning and also in fashion. She believes that the best things are those that are imperfect.

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