The 2020 presidential race has seen Tom Steyer again that azz up, Bernie Sanders thank Kitty Kat Fan Membership for his or her music, and Mike Bloomberg get uncovered for his connection to the Bionicle books, amongst different revelations. Politics, it appears, has invaded each nook of our lives, a lot so that you just’ve most likely been pressured to contemplate who your pet—be it canine, cat, or possum—would vote for within the 2020 election. Now, we now have a solution. Nicely, for possums, no less than.
For roughly a decade, a lady going by the title Georgette Spelvin has been uploading videos on possum care to her YouTube channel, MEpearlA. She exudes an out-of-place glamor, her feathered hair and dainty mannerisms contrasting comically with the feral nature of the creatures she handles. Her cadence stays unnervingly calm as delicately explains every part from the Proper Possum Standard of Excellence to find out how to learn possums a bedtime story. And for those who’re questioning find out how to give a possum a therapeutic massage, there’s a video for that, too.
However most significantly on this election 12 months is how can candidates can safe the opossum vote. Georgette tackles this in a 2017 video titled “Proper Possum Political Persuasion.” Figuring out your possum’s political opinions just isn’t a straightforward matter, she clarifies, stressing that it’s vital to not generalize. All possums are people. There isn’t any such factor as a median possum, and every have their “personal thoughts and set of values.”. Nevertheless, in Georgette’s telling (and who’re we to doubt her?), all of them share an unlucky prejudice towards wombats (who they view as inferior to possums) that Georgette doesn’t agree with. After explaining the necessity to acknowledge the range of possums as a gaggle, she somewhat abruptly concludes that almost all possums are usually opportunistic anarchists. As such, perhaps it’s higher we not know their most well-liked candidate.
However it’s vital to notice that possums are guided extra by their non secular beliefs than their political opinions. In response to Georgette, they’ve all sworn devotion to Pearl of Knowledge, a useless squirrel who created the universe. See, Georgette just isn’t, actually, the primary focus of the channel. She is the mere messenger by way of which the almighty Pearl communicates.
So who, precisely, is Pearl? And what does this faith entail? It’s a bit obscure, however MEpearl’s website has a number of extra particulars. Pearl’s full title is Pearl de Sagesse de Sabaduria. She achieved her all-knowing standing by chewing on a Webster’s dictionary. She additionally has some views on the afterlife. “I do know precisely what occurs once we die,” she informed one fan. “We don’t.” Mainly, after dying, we both obtain increased consciousness like Pearl or our heads explode. If you happen to’re nonetheless confused, Georgette suggests shopping for some merch.
MEpearlA’s movies have at all times had non secular undertones, however just lately they’ve turn out to be extra overt. In 2017, MEpearlA launched a video with the squirrel deity herself, her first in-person look. Possibly due to her elevated consciousness, Pearl appears extra like Georgette in a squirrel masks than a median squirrel. In 2019, Pearl made one other look in a video titled “The Pearlestine Prophecy,” which reveals a number of insights into Pearl’s faith, together with the idea that you would be able to take every part you personal into the afterlife.
Georgette’s possum household has additionally grown. Her newer movies function home cats that she declares are “Mufasian opposums” and “Nubian Onyx Oppossums.” In a latest Instagram post she calls her German Shepherd a “German Guard Opossum.”
In fact, Georgette really does have actual pet possums, and in her movies she actually does pamper them in outrageous methods. MEpearlA is an underrated however long-lasting YouTube enigma. It’s nonetheless unclear how candidates can win the belief of possums/possum lovers, however shopping for Pearl’s calendar (emblazoned with the slogan “Let’s do higher this 12 months, we could?”) is an effective begin.